2025: Year in Review

2024 was the year of walking, the year of cancer and treatment. 

2025 started as the year of the aftermath - the hysterectomy, the healing, and the getting back to routine. 

So, the first half of the year was slow, and a little aimless, but necessary. 

By mid-year, I felt fully healed from surgeries and cancer treatment. I'd taken up rowing (erg), paddleboarding, and continued my walking... until my knees flared up. Suddenly, back to the square one. BUT, I kept on with my progress in other areas. I hired a new trainer, who has really gotten me back into proper strength training. I'm on a good schedule, consistent! 

I've logged almost a half of a million meters on my rowing machine. I'm sweating my butt off on my spin bike trying to improve my VO2 max (not that I've had it tested or anything). 

I've gotten my full blood panels done and everything is in "ideal" ranges. Absolutely fantastic. 

I haven't lost any weight. I haven't lost any inches, I look the same. I would be lying if I said that didn't bum me out. That I didn't feel like I have nothing to show for the hard work I've put in over this past year. But I know it's not for nothing. I know the scale and mirror don't show the whole story. 

Eventually, my strength and abilities will show my progress, even if its only to myself. I know things are changing for the better! To 2026! 

My future fit self

 Visualize yourself at your goal fitness level. Beyond just the number on the scale, describe a specific "non-scale victory" you are excited to experience. Why does that specific moment matter more than the weight itself?

Oof, this one is a loaded one. I've been answering this question in my head (and in numerous blogs, lol) since I was 10. BUT, that question was never about fitness, it was always about weight - specifically, body-size. So I am excited to think about this from a strength, cardio fitness, stamina point of view. I will say just one thing on the aesthetic side of this conversation. And that is that I want to look like I am fit. I want to be able to talk about exercise and not get a side eye and a pity nod. Like, "of course she's working out to lose weight". I want it to be obvious by my physique that I work out seriously. 

Ok, onto non-scale victories that I look forward to as my future fit self: 
• Not injuring myself doing household tasks (lifting heavy things) note: I actually feel like I am here now. 

• Walking and talking with a friend without breathing hard/loudly and sweating immediately. 

• Standing up from the floor easily and gracefully.

• Not feeling silly and sausagey in my workout clothes.

• Performing "sporty" tasks naturally - running a short distance, hanging/pull ups, pushups from the floor, hopping or jumping. 

• Being lighter on my feet when moving about and when dancing. 

• Fitting in public seats comfortably - planes, buses, theaters, restaurants.

Out of reach milestone

(I'm starting to use journaling prompts, because I want to maintain this habit, but I feel as though I have nothing to say as of late)

Identify one physical milestone that still feels out of reach or intimidating right now (e.g., a certain distance, a weight, or a specific exercise). Write about why that goal matters to you.

I don't currently have a big exercise milestone I am going for, but I do have a couple small ones that I can think of. One is raising the weight I use in my Lateral Raises. I have been using 10lb dumbbells since the first set. It is now been months of doing this exercise and many attempts at raising it to just 12lbs and I can't do it. It makes me feel like I am making no progress, that all of my lifting has shown no growth. 

I know this is not the case, as I have gone up in weight in every other exercise. But I find it very frustrating to not progress in this one thing. 

Though, I have been able to up the reps and do sets of 12 instead of 10. When I started, I had to take a break after every 3 reps! This is still improvement, even if not in the way I am hoping for. So I am sure I will get there! 

I guess it is important to me because I have progressed in every other exercise, but when I do that one exercise, at the same weight as Day 1, it makes me feel stuck, like its all been for nothing and I am working so hard and getting nowhere.  I know this to not be true, but its the feeling I get! 

No workout is ever "good for nothing". Anytime I move my body is a tally in the good-for-me column! 

A long week

 It's been a long week, just lots of things happening and then I also got sick. Just a cold, but it really lingers. So it has now been one week since I did any intentional exercise (save for 1 very short walk). The timing is hard today, because I have a doctor's appointment at my gym time... but I am determined to get right back to my strength training schedule. 

The other thing that I am feeling weird about, is that I haven't been logging my food all week either. Historically, if I wasn't measuring and logging all my food it meant that I was way "off track". 
And maybe that could be said about my protein goals, but otherwise I've been... fine? I mean, I feel as though I am not overeating, I am eating balanced and healthy meals and including protein in each one. I just haven't been supplementing with shakes and bars, etc. To be honest, it feels really good and I'm considering letting it go a little longer. I'm very torn. All I want is to make noticeable, measurable progress - in weight loss and/or muscle gain. Both things don't seem possible without meticulous tracking (for me, specifically). Not tracking my food feels like it means abandoning my goals. But one of my other goals is to stop obsessing about my body and finding an easier breezier lifestyle would probably help with that. 

Sigh, I don't know, I've been here before, many times so I am sure as the wind blows, my desires will change as they always do.  But for today, I will blow my nose for the umpteenth time, and go lift some weights! 

Slowly, surely

 I've been having a little bit of trouble sticking precisely to my workout schedule, just because... life. Appointments, meetings, and birthday celebrations! But overall, I feel really good about it. I am still getting 5-6 workouts in each week and working on upping my weights at every opportunity. 

Still feeling an overall feeling of frustration with lack of (visible) progress. But TBH I can absolutely tell that that feeling waxes and wanes based on where I am hormonally. I still feel pretty "locked in" and comfortable with my amount of effort.

I got my first ever cute gym set. Of course it doesn't look very cute on me, but I took pictures anyway in hopes of seeing some change over time!

It is very soft and comfy.

For my birthday, I got some new dumbbells and a little rack for them! 

One step forward, two steps (ouch my) back!

I recognize that all human journeys are not linear. Relationships, careers, weight loss, self-improvement of any kind. There is no direct, bumpless route to the finish line. But UGH, is it FRUSTRATING. I've injured my back, a minor muscle sprain, methinks. I haven't gone to a doctor, I don't think I will unless it gets worse. I know that this type of injury can take weeks to heal on its own, but that is the only way. One week. ONE WEEK of my new and improved workout schedule and I'm injured. 

Ok, pity party has concluded. It is what it is. The only way out is through, and so what else is there to do but just... keep going. Cautiously, intelligently - but consistently. 

Making adjustments

 It is clear that what I am doing is not enough to move the needle. I am still feeling like I just need a win. I need to see some sort of progress, the feeling of just spinning wheels is simply frustrating. Its funny and, frankly, quite sad that improving my health and longevity isn't enough motivation to keep going. I want to see progress - visibly in my body, measurements, or in data. 

So, what else is there to do, but... more? I spoke with my trainer and told her all of this and asked for help in making some goals. Here's what we came up with: 

And so here is what my weeks will look like: 

The changes here are -
• Adding a third day of strength training to the week.
• Aiming for 15,000 meters on the rower each week
• Adding a mobility/balance work out

My food hasn't changed, I am continuing to eat:
• <1,700 calories
• 115-120g protein
• 5g creatine per day